Let's talk about sex

"Let's talk about sex, baby

Let's talk about you and me

Let's talk about all the good things

And the bad things that may be"

That's just a cool song with an entertaining lyrics and a  beats that let you body move naturally.

I don't know how your life was, but sex in my life was always a big taboo. A topic that my parents didn't use to talk with and my school education provided a really poor knowledge about it. All the informations that I've got about sex when I was growing, it was from medias, like TV and from friends that probably learned by personal experiences influenced by the society and their medias.

First time that I had sex, I was 13 years old with my friend's housekeeper that he and his friends had sex with her before. She was quite of older than us and even for a kid that never masturbated himself, there was all this pressure about to have sex by first time, losing his virginity and becoming a man.

That's what I learned in the street, influenced by the society. To be a man, I needed to be able to fuck someone. Increasing my masculinity level and making me a young man in this society. 

I received this pressure by the society being a kid, because I am a man. In women situations, it's really more problematic, in result of our sexist society. Where women should show purity and morality, while men needs to confirm their sexuality.

Clearly our society teach us about sexuality in different ways. When I say our society, I'm including everyone that's in this circle. Our family, our school, friends and social groups. I probably can find yourself in this circle.

Just ask few questions to yourself, how was your sexual education in your family, school and social contacts. Probably depending of your gender, you're gonna have a different reality to share. 

This taboo that make our parents be really far way from us and our system that poor educate us about this topic, based in religion and culture traditions, put us really far away of the reality.

Ignoring something, make life less complicated, but just send us to a road of ignorance. Again, when you ignore something, you're just feeding your ignorance.

In John 8:32 it says:

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

I'm not any longer christian, but this sentence is so strong that give me a lesson of my life and how we can have the opportunity to real live our alive life. If we would hunt more for the truth of things and the freedom would be beautiful reward.

If we don't talk, discuss and try to understand things related with our life and the others, we will have these simple solutions for complex topics and just drown ourselves in this ocean of ignorance.

I can't change my past, I can just learn with that and trying to create a new path. I'm currently opened to talk about taboo topics, because the truth mentally set me free from a blurry reality and make me understand that the understanding about something shouldn't be limited by dogmatic concepts.

The fact that my parents never talked about sex with me and in my school I had just few classes talking about sexual diseases or born prevention, created me some limitations about the topic sex. In the street I just learn how to affirm that was using my dick to fuck other girls and being able to share these experiences in a sexist perspective, sometimes needing to create fantasy stories what I've done or that I didn't, just to impress other friends in a tendency of showing to other that I'm better fucker than them. This silly competition between kids that are still in the process of development, just mess up the real and pleasant experiences that they could have.

I started to understand the real meaning of sex when I was adult, how it's related with connection and mutual pleasure. Not just a guy trying to prove his masculinity. 

I would say that I spent most of my sexual life experience, looking just for my own pleasure, like penetrating until I would have my pleasant orgasm, not taking the right care about the pleasure that my partner was feeling. 

Overtime I could understand that because of these taboo we are not taught to have sex for a mutual pleasure.

The religion can give the idea that sex is something that should be done for married couples and have the tendency to share that sex has the main goal of procreation.

"Some religions distinguish between sexual activities that are practiced for biological reproduction (sometimes allowed only when in formal marital status and at a certain age), and other activities practiced for sexual pleasure, as immoral."

We are learn that sex for pleasure is immoral, it's something dirty that without a divine approval it's something that shouldn't be done, like buying your tickets to the hell and giving concessions for the Evil make you fall.

These traditions also teaches us that for men an important affirmation of our masculinity is use their dick to penetrate woman and the size of our dick and our sexual experiences are gonna show how man we are. They fucking don't know that a tongue and fingers can give more pleasure to a woman than a simple penetration without any sexual stimulation. Dude, your big dick is completely useless for a woman pleasure if you don't know how to stimulate her and use it for her pleasure. Sex isn't just about a continue penetration before you cum, sex is really more than that.

At the same time woman are normally not taught to understand their own body, mainly the vagina. This inputs of purity and morality, make the sexual orientation completely different than the ones that men receives normally. Unpleasure, frustrations, lack of self-esteem and traumas can come in the life of a girl for the restriction of informations that our society ignore them, to keep morality and this view of a pure woman ready to compete with others to find a perfect partner.    

In my personal experience, sex is one of the most pleasant moment, if it's not the most intense one.

In our process of development, we are what we are based in our life experiences. If your system of education wasn't good enough to prepare your sexual conscious enough, our parents were able to talk with us or our society limited our sex, putting borders one this topic and teaching us what they want for their our belief interests, we can still do something about it.

I'll give you just some benefits regarding the sex education:

• Human Development (including reproduction, puberty, sexual orientation, and gender identity);
• Relationships (including families, friendships, romantic relationships and dating);
• Personal Skills (including communication, negotiation, and decision-making);
• Sexual Behavior (including abstinence and sexuality throughout life);
• Sexual Health (including sexually transmitted diseases, contraception, and pregnancy);
• Society and Culture (including gender roles, diversity, and sexuality in the media).

My advice search the truth and free yourself. I'm not telling you that I'll teach you what to do in your life, my words are just a introduction of a topic that you need to explore it by yourself. Try to open your mind to read, to talk and experience things, then talk about it again. Try to understand what your partner likes, in which spots she feel more pleasure and in which ones she make you feel more pleasure.

I'm not a sexual educator, but as a homework, you can try to explore the clitoris of your partner in the case if she's a woman. The clitoris is the human female's most sensitive erogenous zone and just in the clitoral glans has 8,000 sensory nerve endings. These points are ones that you can easily explore in your female partner and give the chance to her in having strong pleasant moments. In case that you're a woman, just ask your partner to explore this part of your body, if nobody even explored your before, you can have an really interesting and pleasant experience if someone is exploring your body, mainly the clitoris and the clitoral glans.

   Location of (1) clitoral hood and (2) clitoral glans

About the clitoris trick, honestly talking, few weeks ago I couldn't recognize where was the clitoris in a woman vagina and I didn't even know the existence of the glans.

Anyway, it doesn't matter which age, gender, sexual orientation and background you have, talking with your partner is a really good way how to understanding more about sex and its relationship with pleasure. Some online searches can also help to get some knowledge about sex and its taboo and answers.

What I'm trying to do, is creating a open discuss for topics that we our society convert it in a taboo, a topic for not being discussed, but ignored.  I hope to be able to contribute with something positive. I have my beliefs that are flexible for new inputs, but things that I currently wish for the future our society is:

Increase the sexual education in our process of development since we are kid by school and family. For us adults? There is always time to learn while we are alive.

Some of us have already kids and some other will have as well. Have you ever though how is gonna be the education that you'll provide to your kids? Also depending of his or her gender will you talk to them in the same level of information? You have the opportunity to break the cycle of ignorance or just keep ignoring things to yourself and others. 

I wish that one day this immoral activity can be seen as just probably that most pleasant one that we can have.

Sources:

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/for-educators/what-sex-education
https://www.cdc.gov/teenpregnancy/about/index.htm
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clitoris
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_sexual_activity
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religion_and_sexuality
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_education